Press “F” to keep those pesky pirates at bay!
Piracy is one of the few words that strikes fear into the hearts of merchant traders and video game developers alike. There’s arguably nothing worse than pouring blood, sweat and tears into something that becomes a success, only to earn a fraction of what you should. That being said, game developers have found ingenious ways to have a laugh at pirates’ expense down the years.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at 5 of the funniest examples of such trolling from video game history.
Table of contents:
1. Drunk Cameraman
2. Say hello to my little hen!
3. Anger the dragon at your peril!
4. What’s going on?
5. Think you can beat me? Think again!
Drunk Cameraman
Whilst one could argue that pirating a copy of a Grand Theft Auto game is in keeping with the spirit of the franchise, Rockstar Games would beg to differ. However, rather than get on their high horse, Rockstar developed an ingenious way of dealing with those who pirate copies of Grand Theft Auto 4: a drunk cameraman. Basically, in pirated versions of this game, the camera would spin around frantically at all times. As if this nausea-inducing camera work wasn’t enough, you’d also have to contend with cars that could only travel in one direction and would turn into a ticking time bomb as soon as you slipped behind the wheel. The moral of the story: don’t mess with Rockstar!
Say hello to my little hen!
Although saying that EA aren’t exactly every gamer’s best friend would be understatement of the century, there’s no denying that this anti-piracy measure was absolute genius. Basically, those who played a pirated copy of Crysis Warhead could only use chickens as ammunition. Yes, you heard that right! Chickens which did precisely zero damage to their enemies! Technically, you could complete the game, but it would take an age as you’d have to resort to hand-to-hand combat. In other words, if you want to complete this game without taking an eternity, you need to buy a copy.
Anger the dragon at your peril!
Whilst Spyro evokes fond memories of retro platformers for most of us, he is the stuff of nightmares for pirates as Spyro: Year of the Dragon took trolling to another level. Not only did this game warn you that you were playing a pirated game right at the start, but you’d also be bombarded with a series of frustrating obstacles in pirated versions of this game. Essential items would go missing, the language settings would change randomly and, worst of all, your save file would vanish into thin air at the end.
What’s going on?
Those who’ve played The Sims will know that it pixelates characters’ bodies when they go to the toilet or take a shower. Well, imagine that this pixilation never went away. Well, this is precisely what happened in pirated copies of Sims 4. Essentially, this anti-piracy measure would turn your games into a big blurry mess and make it almost impossible to figure out what characters were doing.
Think you can beat me? Well, think again!
Last, but not least, we round things off with cult classic RPG Earthbound. If you thought Doom’s Ultra Nightmare or Metal Gear Solid’s European Extreme difficulty levels were tough, then they pale into insignificance when compared to how hard it is to complete a cracked copy of this game. Basically, this game would do everything in its power to stop you from completing it. To add insult to injury, even if you had what it takes to get to the end of the game, it would freeze and take you right back to the start.